A Tawakkul Story

which I spontaneously wrote tonight!

A few weeks ago AAPlus team asked me if I could prepare a personal reflection on Juz 13 for one of our Sunday classes. Flattery wasn’t my initial reaction, more like me thinking hard of an excuse to get out of it. You see, I saw myself as a Muggle in their magic world. Me? Reflect on Juz 13 in front of 200 people? What did I know?

The reluctance was real that I took 24 hours to respond to a text message.

(Taken on 2nd December 2022 at a supermarket aisle which I thought represented my mantra of the coming year)

What lame excuse was I going to give? My work schedule was full to the brim? (true) 5 days to prepare on Juz 13 isn’t enough? (half-true) Stage-fright? (true) I didn’t have enough understanding on Juz 13? (true)

The more it scares you, the more you have to do it, Ainna.

I said chirpily, Yes, sure! I’ll do it! while feeling insanely impossible.

You know how this story goes. It will always come around to the Rabb who answers. You walk, He runs.

So, miraculously I did have time to glance over the translation of Juz 13. I then decided that since I had already agreed to be ambitious, I would overkill and speak not on just 1, but 2 verses. I was really not ready, but let’s do it.

My half-an-hour commute that week was gluing my ears to Nouman Ali Khan’s Deeper Look on Surah Yusuf. He takes over 111 hours (!) to speak about the whole surah because there are 111 verses of the surah, and of course, each verse deserves the utmost time to reflect upon. I chose verse 67 and 100. I chose to speak about Tawakkul, trusting Allah.

So this, everyone, is the start of my presentation. “Ainna’s TEDxtalk”, as Aida smilingly said at the end of it all.

We all know that Surah Yusuf is one of the best stories in the Quran. It unfolds the story of brothers driven by jealousy, Prophet Yusuf thrown into a well, then sold into slavery, then falsely accused, imprisoned for years, before being acquitted, becoming the Chief Minister of Egypt, and finally reuniting with his father, Prophet Yaakub and the rest of his family.

But I picked this verse because I wanted to focus on Prophet Yaakub, who too, went through tests upon tests.

(12:67)

For context: It was at the time when Prophet Yusuf’s brothers had returned to their father, Prophet Yaakub (in Palestine) to ask for permission to bring their youngest brother, Benyamin, to meet the minister of Egypt (who they didn’t realise yet was Prophet Yusuf, whom they had threw in the well years ago).

(Yaakub’s family was affected by famine, so the brothers had to travel to Egypt to trade for supplies.) Am I confusing you? Read the full story here.

Prophet Yaakub told them not to enter together by one gate, but to disperse and use different gates. What was the meaning behind this? I was intrigued. Prophet Yaakub had 12 sons, and I learned that in ancient times, this meant that he would perceived as a strong family. His sons were young, handsome, well-built men, so if they chose to storm into a city’s gate together, this would surely turn heads, causing excessive attention, jealousy or evil eye, to people who saw them. (Evil eye - that’s another newsletter that I’ll have to write!)

But Prophet Yaakub ended his words by saying, ‘But I cannot help you against the will of God: all power is in God’s hands. I trust in Him; let everyone put trust in Him’.

This is the gist of Tawakkul. It shows that planning and taking precautions is extremely important (go by different gates, my sons!) but in the end, knowing that whatever you plan, Allah has His Plan and His plan is the best (Prophet Yaakub understood that no matter how detailed his plan was, his sons could still encounter harm). But again, that didn’t stop him from planning.

(12:100)

Then we link it all together to the almost end of the surah, verse 100. Prophet Yusuf has now reunited with his parents and brothers in Egypt. All was forgiven. He spoke to his father —Ya Abbati! I have seen this in a dream a long time ago—he had already seen the beautiful ending to his hardships (at the start of Surah Yusuf, verse 4!!!) but he still patiently went through hardships upon hardships, for 40 years, because he trusted Allah’s plans for him.

It made me think about my own life. I really thought hard about Tawakkul. Yes I’m good like a sponge, I can absorb and regurgitate back to you what I have learned about the gems of Surah Yusuf, but what part of my life, what huge personal stories really did I have to share about Tawakkul?

I racked my brains for phenomenal, 180 degree heart-turning points of my life. I pondered upon people that caused me pain, situations that pushed me to the lowest of iman, difficulties that other muggles like me (you, obv) would be able to relate to understand Tawakkul.

But then, I realised that I didn’t have to think so hard. I didn’t need to share a bombastic life-changing story. Tawakkul, or trusting Allah, isn’t just when you experience a difficulty in life. Tawakkul isn’t just about pain, hardships, heartbreaks or testing people in your life.

Tawakkul is in your everyday life. It is waking up today, this morning, doing the same old routine, but trusting Allah will make it easy, every path of your way so long as you try your best. Tawakkul is dropping off your child at school, worried, but trusting Allah that no harm will come to them. Tawakkul is looking at your bank statement each month and wondering if it will be enough, but fully trusting that 1+1 isn’t always going to be 2, 1+1 can be a 100 if Allah wills.

And ultimately,

Tawakkul is, you, standing in front of the Red Sea, as Prophet Musa did, with an army behind you, the shackles and burdens of life behind you, and not flinching, because you truly trust that Allah will always, always, always get you through.

That’s it. You just crossed your Red Sea.